Mr. Last Words

Dave has been working extra long hours as of late, and to be honest with you...I would too if it meant not having to referee our children during dinner time. I have no patience for rudeness, and seem to find uncontrollable giggling at the dinner table, highly annoying. Tonight, Blake lost the option to have "hot" hot chocolate (as opposed to "cold" hot chocolate) and then I warned both of them that I would send them to bed without them finishing their dinner. Three minutes later, I was clearing plates full of spinach raviolis, and marching two little boys down the hallway to their bedrooms.

Blake's response..."Mommy. That's fine, I am not that hungry, and actually...I am pretty tired."

Chair Berries

I fed my kids blueberries a week ago.

Maybe I need to wipe down my chairs more often?

Sharing is Caring

Today, Blake made up a game that resembled, "Memory" but with numbers. He laid out 12 cards on the carpet facing down. I went first, "Mommy, grills, always go first..."

I then began to make matches, that consisted of finding one number, and then the next number that comes after it. That is a match. Example, find the 6 card, now look for the 7. Sometimes, Blake would find two #3 cards, and all of a sudden the rules changed...

When all the cards were picked up, he told me that whoever has the highest stack, wins. My stack included all of the cards, except for the two cards Blake had in his hand.

Then, out of no where he says, "So this is the part in the game where we begin sharing our cards with each other." He took 3-4 out of my hand, and gave me 1. Then he would compare our stacks, and come back for another handful of my cards.

Finally, he sets both stacks next to each other and says with a sly grin, "Good game Mommy, but it looks like I won this hand. Better luck next time."

Pretty in Pink

Yesterday, Dave and I had the rare treat of taking a 3 hour nap, while our children did the same. We had gotten all of our chores done and were resting up for Family Movie Night that included a Pizza Picnic!!! The boys each woke up about 4:45, thus ending our sleepy time as well.

I went in and crawled in bed with Parker. We were in deep discussion about Robots ("Ro-Ros) and T-Rex ("T-T") when Dave came in wearing a light pink Polo.

Parker sits straight up, looks at Dave, looks at me, and says, "No No Daddy!" He points to his shirt and says "Momma!" while shaking his head at Dave.

The Burger King

There he is. You can't deny that a man that wears a paper hat and sports a onesie isn't going to rule the world someday.

God is Bigger Than The Boogie Man

The boys were having hamburgers and milk shakes for lunch today, discussing the almighty, "Monster Dream".

"Parker, don't be scared of monsters. They aren't real. Are you scared of monsters?"

"Sure!" replies Parker.

"Well let me tell you...whenever you start to have a monster dream, you just ask Jesus to come and he will push pause on your dream." Blake walks over to Parker and started pushing on his chest.

"You see Parker, Jesus lives right here, in your heart, so you don't have to be scared of the monsters. He will always be there for you and make sure that you are safe."

Give it up for Jesus.

Let the truth be told...

"Parker. It is not all about you. It is about me.

I was born first you know..."

Blake Needham, age 4

Email Amusements

This is how I keep Dave entertained while he earns a living for our family.

Dear Daddy,

My whole goal in life is to make my mommy crazy.

I think that it is funny when I encourage every single one of my friends that has visited me today, to jump up and down on my bed. I know that I am not allowed to do it, but it feels so right to be so wrong...

Right now I am crying in your bed because I have to miss out on GeoTrax while everyone else gets to play with them. I think that if I keep it up, mommy will hang me from my toe nails off the tree in the front yard. Either that, or sell me to the neighbors that drive too fast.

I hope that I can pull my life together soon, but in the mean time, I like to annoy mommy, because I think it is funny.

Love,

Blake

The other night while my best friend Dana'e was here, I had to use some "tough love" parenting tactics, all while encouraging Dana'e to never reproduce.

Blake got sent to bed without dinner (because I forgot to feed my kids...literally, no joke) at 7pm. He lied to me about why there was dirt on the pavers from one of my planters and blamed it on "Houkie" (his new name for Parker). Ugh, Blah, Blech, huh. Parenting is exhausting to me, but I continue to hold on to the highlights that help me wake up the next morning.

Example one: Last weekend we went to some friends house for Greek Easter. I thought I was so witty, in bringing my first "Bunt Cake" to the celebration. We were so late getting there, that I promised Blake he could have chocolate milk just to get him into the car. He was instructed that he could have it with dinner, once Mia served everyone.

Once we arrived, Mia set out all of the food and brought out two Horizon Organic Milks, just like our chocolate milks. I pulled Blake aside and told him this:

"Blake, I know that I told you that you could have chocolate milk with dinner, but I need you to know that Mia has made a very special dinner for us, and she was so thoughtful to get you special milk. The one she bought is white milk."

"But Mommy, you told me that I could have chocolate milk with dinner."

"Yes, Blake, I did. For tonight, I need you to be flexible and drink the milk that Mia bought."

"Okay Mommy."

I walked into the kitchen, and Blake walked over to the counter, grabbed the white milk and turned to Mia. "Miss Mia, thank you so much for thinking of me and Parker and getting us this milk. It was really nice of you."

I wanted to burst into tears.

The Meanest of Them All

Last Wednesday, Blake and I went to a play at the local children's theatre. We went with his preschool and saw Hansel and Gretel.

I loathed it.

The screaming and fighting between the two children in the play, was so annoying. The thought of paying money to watch two children pick on each other was more than I could handle. At least I could have yelled back if it was my own kids!!!

After the play, Blake and I decided to get hot chocolate. We were debriefing our "theatrical experience" and I asked him what he thought of all of the fighting between the siblings. He said he didn't think it was very nice. (One point for Mommy)

Then he says, "Mommy. Did the lady who played the mommy in the play, did she also play the witch?"

"Yes Blake, she was the same actress."

"Sometimes the lady who played the mommy got mad when she was the witch."

"Hmm...you are right." I replied.

"Mommy. Sometimes you get mad. Are you a witch?"

A Slap in the Pants

We have decided to take the state up on their offer of "early education" assistance and make great use of our tax dollars. A woman came to our house to interview Parker and me, and of course we were thrilled with the results. Trust me, I am not looking to place my kids in AP classes for them to be handed mounds of "dittos" as an extra challenge. We are just looking into resources that help us as parents make the very best of our kids.

The woman sitting on my couch chatted with me for over an hour, observed Parker, and then asked me what his middle name was.

"Parker Brent." I told her.

As she wrote it down, I turned to see Parker standing next to the coffee table giggling, and spanking his own thigh.

I guess it would not have been that big of a deal, if the woman sitting in my home wasn't from DSHS.

Gross

Blake and Parker (and Mommy too...) have been taking full advantage of the lack of rain, by spending their mornings, afternoons and early evenings playing outside. They are in a constant competition to find bugs, rocks, sticks, and anything else that can be used to throw, poke and harm each other.

Yesterday I hear Blake screaming, "Mergency! Mergency! Mergency! Mooooommmmmmmmy!!!!"

I come racing through the house, through the back door and out to the patio.

Blake is standing with his arm outstretched and finger pointing to his little brother's face.

"Mommy! Parker has a slug on his face!!!"

I stopped, looked closely, and then turned around and went inside to look for a tissue to wipe Parker's nose.

Oh Lulla

If you haven't had the chance to meet a very special member of the Needham family, let me take the time to introduce Lulla.

Lulla is light blue and dark brown, (and not because of the constant abuse she receives). Her measurements are 36 by 26. She has a special tag where you can place one, two year old sized finger for optimal dragging. Lulla came into Parker's life moments after he entered this world. They have been soul mates ever since. Sleep doesn't not happen in our house, or anyone elses, if Lulla is not a part of the process.

Most recently, Lulla's role as "the comforter" has evolved. She now is working in area of torn books and punched thighs.

Last week, Parker was looking through a book on the floor, and turned a page too fast. One of the pages ripped, and he burst into tears. I bent down to talk to him and he bolted out of the room. Moments later he returned with Lulla in tow. Through tears, he roughly rubbed Lulla all over the book. "Oh Lulla, Oh Lulla...book book book."

Two days later, after not finding enough room on the couch to share with his brother and Mommy, Blake hauled off an punched Parker in the leg. He glared at Blake, grabbed Lulla and violently smeared him back and forth on his thigh, all while mumbling, "Lulla. Lulla. Lulla."

Open up the Floodgates

I have always dreamed of being a stay at home mom. From the time I was little, I used to say I wanted to be a "Mommy" and not just a mom. I looked forward to arts and crafts with my kids, making their lunches and reading them books. I longed for the freedom that would come with taking my kids to the park, playing in the sunshine on lazy days and getting together with friends.

I knew that my kids would get sick. That I would wipe their nose and clean up pee off the floor. I knew that once in awhile there would be times where I would be up all hours of the night.

But no one told me about the puke. While my children unfortunately had the "frow ups" for eight straight days this last month, I have caught it in my hands, cleaned it out of a car seat, the molding, and twice out of my bra.

Being a mom is just the best.

The Wet Method

Last night, I realized that I had done something new. Something wild, and something even more bold than my "take the door off the hinge if you slam it one more time" mother.

Blake asked us if we could have a family game night. Of course we said yes, so after a bath and an episode of Olivia, Dave pulled out Trouble. A simple, and quick evening game, that would put the team in bed within a mere 10 minutes.

Not the game Blake would have chosen. So on goes the water works, which is then followed up with sweat, hair flying, maybe a little bit of saliva, and all hell has broken loose.

After one too many chances to choose between playing the game, and bed, Mommy's choice won out. Off we go, with the wild child in tow, to the bathroom for flossing and brushing. (side note: super duper easy to floss your child's teeth while they are screaming bloody murder) The noise was unreal. I stayed calm and told him that there was no way that I could let him play any game, because then he would think that this sort of behavior was okay. Then came the shaking, pounding the air, and who knows what else.

I stood up, opened the shower curtain, turned it on and placed my 4 year old under the freezing cold water.

The only thing he could say was, "Mommy! My glow in the dark pajamas are ruined!"

Needless to say, Blake slept for 13 hours last night. On our way out to the car this morning, he says, "Mommy, if I could just take a moment and show you the game that "I" wanted to play last night."

If this is 4, Blake might be up for adoption by 14.

Peeky and The Rockers

My kids were finally able touch the "Rock Band" rental.

Rental being the key word.

Squid Head

So every once in awhile, the UW Center for Human Studies, calls and wants to experiment on my children. Well, actually just play games with them and take notes. I personally think that it is the least we can do, considering we have been so blessed with such healthy boys.

The last leg of the day consisted of Blake wearing a special cap that tested his brain waves when he saw a video of me, verses another woman. I am sure that if they were testing his heart, it would have burst at the sight of me...

After about a half an hour, he had to take a potty break, so they gave him a towel to wipe off his sweaty head. He then asked if he could wear the towel under the cap.

No.

Oh Boy...

So the boys and I field tripped it to Benjamin Moore last Friday to finish off a project I assigned Dave. (He is always so thankful for my honey-dos)

Blake and the salesman were chatting back and forth and the man asks Blake how old he is.

"I am 4. How old are you?"

"I am 22." the salesman says.

"So, when you were 4 like me, did you always want to work at a paint store when you grew up?"

I couldn't help but gasp and look away.

"Well, buddy. All I can say is, stay in school."



You betcha.

Daddy vs. Jesus

"Mommy. Talk to me about God, Jesus and Lord."

I went on to explain that God, wanted to come down and play with us on earth, so he sent Jesus, who was a one point a baby in Mary's belly. He was then a little boy, and then a big boy, and finally a man.

"So how big was Jesus?"

"Well Blake, he was about the same size at Daddy."

Long silence...

"But Mommy, did Jesus have cool hair?"

A Peek at Peeky

Every time I pull my camera out, Parker says, "sssssssss". His version of "cheeeese!"

I must have had an extra helping of patience that afternoon, as I let him take a photo of me, post nap.

In Case of an Emergency

"Mommy, last night I had a talk with the guys. I let them know what to do if their fur catches on fire.

First you stop what you are doing, then you drop on the floor and then roll around while you call 911."

What Every 2 Year Old Needs

Is a bad haircut.

Darn it.

Look Mommy!

I have Ant Whiskers!

Just Roll with It

Blake and I were on a date the other night, which included shopping for a birthday present for his "brodder", and ice cream. So thrilled to find out the Coldstone carries Raspberry Sorbet. Mix that in with a little bit of your 4 year old's white ice cream (cheesecake), watch out for the rock hard gummy bears, and you have a life changing combo. Blake was asked by a woman how old he was.

"I am four and my wittle brodder is 2. When he has his birthday, my daddy is going to put Parker's bed on top of my bed, and we are going to have Bunko Beds."

Me and My Mourning

So yesterday Dave decided that we should take down Parker's crib. I have been very, apprehensive about this. Parker is a little bit of a wild guy at times, but Dave assured me that it would be no problem. Right.

Down went the crib, while I sulked in the corner. Trust me, I am so done having children. Like, so so so so so done having children. We started off with the crib mattress on the floor. I have obviously been proven wrong, because one nap and one nighttime later, the kid is flawless.

This afternoon, I have retucked Parker three times. I have cleaned up books, blocks, stuffed guys, baskets and blankets once. I have walked him back to his bed after he kept trying to open the door and escape. I have pulled my child twice out from underneath his nightstand.

My mom offered to take Parker for the next two nights while we paint his room.

Sold.

Peeky Turns 2

It's official. I am now the proud owner of two toddlers.

Mr. Rude

Any random day, you could see an entirely different side of my oldest child. I won't deny that he may be one of the most polite, well mannered, sweetest little boys you have ever met, with a fantastic sense of humor.

Other days, I would be willing to give him to the gypsies, and have been tempted to tell him that.

On our way home from Pump It Up last week, we all get in the car, buckle up, and he says, "Gimmie some crackers."

I stopped, waited, and then turned to him and said, "Where are your manners?"

He looks me straight in the eye, leans in and says, "Where are YOUR manners?"

If Blake wants to go to Pump It Up again, he might have to ask you.

He knows what my answer will be.

Bumble Blake

So we finally got to celebrate Blake's birthday at preschool this week. I asked him if he would like me to put B's on the top of each cupcake. He said yes, he wanted Bees.

Things that make Mommy cry

And not with joy.

With clenched teeth, squinty eyes and arms outstretched, fingers wiggling, Blake comes running at me.
"Mommy, I just love you soooo much! You are squishy, just like jello!"

This morning while I snuggled up next to him to watch cartoons, he says,
"Wow, Mommy you are big. Are you having another baby?"

It's not funny.

I can barely walk this week, let alone get off the toilet due to boot camp.

Roller Derby Kids

For $3, you too can take your kids photos in a pair of skates.

The skating part? Just pass.

From Who's Mouth?

So lately I have been hearing the different things that Blake is saying to people when I am not around. I don't really know what to make of it, but I do know that Dave would not be thrilled. Here goes:

At preschool, "Oooh, Jake. That's a great shirt, where did you get that?"

From a friend when asked how Christmas was, "Oh, it was lovely. Just lovely."

From Kiesha, "Oh Keeks, great shoes."

Witnessing Dave trying on his new shirt, "Ooooh, Daddy daddy. You are fancy fancy!"

When Nana asked how preschool was, "Oh wow. It is just really great to be back on schedule."

I am thinking that I might just start keeping my mouth shut.

So...Maybe I'll Update My Blog

Or maybe not.

Guess Who....

Per my dad's request, Parker is not the child on the right...

Ho Ho Ho

Tonight on the way to Santa photos, Blake was beside himself that Santa had not only shown up at his birthday party earlier that day, but he was sitting in the lobby of La Hacienda in Mill Creek, AND we were on our way to sit on his lap in Bellevue. He thought that we should try and race Santa down 405, and was determined that we would win. I told him that he can fly, and doesn't have to wait in traffic, or at stop lights.

Good point Mommy. However, on our way to the freeway, Blake saw Rudolph's red nose in the sky (some might say it was the blinking red light from a cell tower, but that is neither here nor there...) and knew that we could beat him.

As Blake was trying to explain the whole situation to his little brother, he finally gives up and says, "Parker. Do you speak English?"

Sing it with me...

"One of these kids is not like the other..."

If you really want to see how different your children are, try hitting each of them in the face with a snowball.