Guess Who....

Per my dad's request, Parker is not the child on the right...

Ho Ho Ho

Tonight on the way to Santa photos, Blake was beside himself that Santa had not only shown up at his birthday party earlier that day, but he was sitting in the lobby of La Hacienda in Mill Creek, AND we were on our way to sit on his lap in Bellevue. He thought that we should try and race Santa down 405, and was determined that we would win. I told him that he can fly, and doesn't have to wait in traffic, or at stop lights.

Good point Mommy. However, on our way to the freeway, Blake saw Rudolph's red nose in the sky (some might say it was the blinking red light from a cell tower, but that is neither here nor there...) and knew that we could beat him.

As Blake was trying to explain the whole situation to his little brother, he finally gives up and says, "Parker. Do you speak English?"

Sing it with me...

"One of these kids is not like the other..."

If you really want to see how different your children are, try hitting each of them in the face with a snowball.

Merry Christmas Mommy

Tonight Blake ruined my Christmas gift surprise.

"Mommy, you are getting Myrrh. In a box."

The Greatest Gift of All

"Mommy, do you know what God's greatest gift is?"

"I do Blake, do you?"

"Yes, I do. It's snow."

Not really the answer I expected, but he goes on...

"It is the most greatest gift from God, Jesus and Lord. By the way, who is Lord?"

"Well, Lord is another name for God. Kind of like Blakey Bear is another name for Blake." I replied.

"Oh, I see. Like Peeky is another name for Parker, and Wendy is another name for Mommy."

And for breakfast...

Tuesdays my kids spend the day with my mom. I try to be in Bellevue by 9:30 at the latest, and things can get a little hairy that morning each week.

The other day on the way to preschool, Blake and I were talking about all of the kinds of things we eat for breakfast. Yogurt, fruit bars, grapes, pancakes, cereal, cereal with milk, on and on.

"Blake, what do you eat at Grandma and Grandpa's house?"
"Oatmeal."

"What about at Nana and Bopa's?"
"Oatmeal."

"What do we eat at our house?"
"Oatmeal. Well, wait. Hold on. Sometimes when you waste time in the morning, we have to eat it at Nana's."

Huh.

Game On...

Okay, so I have decided that I am back on the "parenting kick". I am willing to give it another try. We were headed home in the car tonight and Blake told me how excited he was to open presents for Christmas. I asked him what he was going to get for Christmas, and he said only Santa knows. He told me that he only wanted two things. One, a Blue Fish for his "wittle broder" and a big boy bed for Parker, so they can have sleepovers when Parker is 3, and he is 5.

Next up, Blake told me that when he is 10, he is going to be a daddy.

"What kinds of things do you do when you are a daddy?"

"When I am 10, and I am a daddy, I will drink beard."

I burst out laughing.

"Well I think that Daddy does other things besides drink beard, what else will you do?"

"Oh, I'll go to work. And that's where I will look at mail, work at a really big computer, drive in the front of the car and do my business."

Oh For Goodness Sakes

Lately, I have been really wondering what it must be like to have free time. Like to do simple things, like go to the gym, and stay for 2 hours instead of rushing back home after 45 minutes. Or just sit at the computer and leisurely write emails, and not have a little index finger continually hitting the cap locks button, just to see the green light go on.

As of late, we are home a lot. With both children staining my Pottery Barn silk dupioni pillows with snot, and the constant ever annoying hum of coughing, we are land locked. I am finding that the simple task of cleaning my toilets without being interrupted is impossible.

"Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. I need you. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy."

"Yes Blake, what do you need."

"I just really love you Mommy."

Leave me alone.

Things are in fact looking up...kind of

My boys have stopped fighting. I don't think that I have heard a mean comment, sharp remark, or fearless scream in over 5 days. I would like to think it is because my kids are finally picking up what I am forever putting down...but that is not so.

We went to the cutest birthday party on Friday full of darling little people, and sick adults. We go to a preschool where everyone is just getting over the aches and pains flu. My kids have croup. My kids each have ear infections, runny noses, blood shot eyes, high fevers and wear their jammies til noon (can you believe it!).

They have watched way too much tv in the last 4 days, eaten nothing and I made them both get family photos on Sunday.

This too shall pass. Or I will in the process.

No News is Bad News

I have nothing funny to share. I am currently finding parenting to be so exhausting. I am so tired of saying no, don't, stop, shut up (just kidding), move, no, don't, ugh, why, really?

Other than Blake asking me what was going on down my shirt, and then telling me that sharks have bigger boobies than his mommy, I am fried (and flat?)

Stay tuned, I may consider coming back.

Things I love...

The silly things little boys add to your life...
My backyard and the fact that only 1/4 of the leaves have fallen from our trees...
Dave's nod to Halloween, with his "Octopus Ghost" as I like to call it...
That raking leaves is a boy job...

Dear Parker, It's Blake...

"When I was a baby, my mommy didn't have a name for me, so she called me Uncle Dick, and Sweet Baby Barbecue."

Soooo......

Would it be bad if I decided to become a professional photographer in my free time (because there really is soo much of it...) and pimped my child out to different brand name companies? I mean, it seems okay. We would work as a team, and all we have to do is place a slab of salami, box of wheat thins, scotch tape, maybe some pumpkin ale beer in his chubby little hands and college is paid for...

It's true...we are in fact related

Jump for Joy!!!

My kids sleep amazing at my parents. For some reason, unbenounced to me, they sleep late in the mornings, take super long naps, and look forward to snuggling in at Nanas. We now know why...

Dave and I took the boys to St. Edwards park to take in the amazing fall weather. The kids loved the dirt, and it lovingly clung to their jeans. We put Blake down for a nap in undies, and a t-shirt. My mom went to check on him a half an hour after, to find him jumping up and down on the bed, singing whatever tune was in his head at the moment, with his "wiener flopping about" (literally word for word by my mother...) and his underwear on his head.

Oh the joy of a good naked jump.

Blake and Chippy's Pumpkin Adventure

So being a mom has made me borderline obsessive compulsive. I feel with every ounce of my being, that this thing called parenting is just a little bit easier if we are clean, organized and polite. The first two, I am trying to give my children a little bit of grace on. So this year, I put Martha's guide to the perfect Autumn season back on the coffee table, and allowed Blake to create his own look for his pumpkin. My ideas of the perfect polka dot ghost white pumpkin with accented green gourds will have to wait until next fall. Blake, with the help of our good friend's "tweenagers" helped to carve pumpkins last weekend.

Blake was so proud of himself and all of his hard work. He would stand in the dining room and admire his work...until Chippy, the friendly neighborhood squirrel, wanted to add a little of his decorative flair.

Blake decided that he hates chippy, and he is going to starve him.

There you have it.

What's Grosser than Gross?

Parker realizing that he can take his peanut butter and jelly sandwich apart.

Deeps Thoughts by Blake

Did you know that Penguins only eat bacon? I bet you didn't realize that.

Mommy, Bruce and I are married. But only after he came out of my belly.

Um, I think that my bottom might have the throw ups.

Mommy. There really is no need for you to raise your voice.

I don't really care for what you made for dinner. Thank you anyways.

Mommy, don't talk back to Daddy.

Sleeping with the Enemy

When it comes to raising boys, I see it as a privilege. I believe that I am raising boys that will someday take care of girls, and right now, I have them practicing on me.

Parker is in the most loving, and tender stage right now. And he is crazy about his Mommy. Today, while his older brother made a great decision to take a nap, Parker had other plans. He proceeded to howl at the top of his lungs in combination with screaming, "Mama!" through all his tears. After 45 minutes and me needing a nap, I brought him into my bed (there's a first time for everything!!) and told him that he could lay down with me, and we would both sleep.

He squinted his eyes shut tight, and I closed mine. He then proceeded to trace my lips with his fingertip, brush my hair out of my eyes, and gently places his little lips on my mouth. Again, all the makings for a perfect little man.

After an hour, when I caught him with his finger up my nose, making spit bubbles on my brown matte coverlet and yanking on my hair, nap time was officially over. At one point he pulled the covers over our heads, and I think that he may have tooted. Looks like I still have a lot of work to do.

For the sake of Sadie...

I use my blogs to tell funny stories about my kids, not about me. However, I think that the way that I relive all of our moments, in the end tells so much about me. My girlfriend Sadie, "tagged" me to write 7 random facts about myself. Because I really really like Sadie, and I want her to really really really like me, I will go forth.

1. When I was in college, and nannying, I was driving my boss's 1985 4 door truck, and I hit a parked car heading up Dravus in Seattle. I kept driving and told the little girl in the backseat that the wind blew the side mirror into the passenger window.

2. My husband does all of the laundry in our house. I think that this embarrasses my mom.

3. I allow my children to eat crackers and cheerios that they find in their carseat or stroller. Please, it saves money.

4. I am obsessed with clear containers and feel that everything for the most part has it's very own home. Batteries, puzzle pieces, light bulbs, tea lights, little people, and tampons, to name just a few.

5. The first time Dave kissed me, I burst into tears.

6. I gave birth to both of my 9+ lbs boys naturally. I won't be having anymore children.

7. I don't take my contacts out at night, and I don't wash off my eye makeup. More than likely, I will be blind by next summer.

Soap Talk

So it's official. The inside of Blake's mouth became intimate with Johnson and Johnson's baby soap this evening. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to deal with this until we were at least 8 or 9, and some kid in 2nd grade taught my sweet Blakey bear the f-word. Not so. Not that he repeated the big F bomb this evening...we are just taking preventative measures here on the home front.

I hate potty talk. I think that it makes for gross little boys and girls, and is only appropriate when we are in discussions about whether or not we need to sit or stand. Tonight it came in the form of just silly boy talk. But the thing is, that I have threatened Blake countless times, that I would in fact put soap in his mouth, and tonight I was fed up.

It actually worked out quite nicely, since we were already in the tub. He said the word, I grabbed the soap, opened his mouth, sloshed it around on his teeth, scrubbed his tongue and he just sat there. Eyes wide open, not saying a word, and much to my disappointment, he didn't cry.

Toddler or Teenager?

So I guess that I would assume that I am quite the expert on teenagers. After spending almost ten years, loving the daylights out of high schoolers, you would think that I would know a thing or two. But since I have never raised a 3 year old, going on 13, I am a bit ill prepared. Hormones seem to be kicking into overdrive lately in our house, and I promise, they are not mine. Blake is so sensitive. He bursts into tears if Parker gets anything red, and he ends up with blue. "Mommy, red is my favorite color you know..." The water works go on if he thinks that Daddy forgot to hug or kiss Mommy goodbye in the morning. Sit in "his" chair for a morning cartoon, you will pay. Pull him out of the tub before the last water drop has made it's way down the drain, tears. This is what happened two nights ago, when he was STILL screaming, five minutes after he had been out of the bath. I told him, "Blake, you have to stop screaming. You are hurting mommy's ears". He stopped for a moment, placed his hands on my ears, and started up again.

Lastly, our most proud moment as parents came on Wednesday, when Blake got into a fight at preschool.

Nothin Like Baked Goods

I have always tried to find great things about Everett. I am seldom able to add to my short list. Of course, at the top, is that WE live here, but second to that, is the unreal views of our state that we have in every direction. Especially on a sunny day.

Today, on the way to the pumpkin patch, Dave was telling Blake all about Mt. Baker.

"Daddy! Look at that. Look at all of the snow on top of that mountain! Actually, Mommy, did you know that they have a bakery at the top of that mountain?"

"Wow. I didn't know that Blake. What sorts of things do they bake?" I asked.

"Oh, you know. Bagels, sandwiches, raviolis, pasta. Things like that." he stated.

"And Mommy, that snow on the top of the mountain...it is really just powdered sugar."

Kitchen Table Convo

Typed word for word this morning:

From Blake to Parker:

"Parker, did you just tell me no? Did you? Are you lying to me? You know what Parker, we don't lie.

I will ask you one more time if I can have a turn with that. Parker, can I please have a turn with that? Are you ready to share? Are you ready to share? We don't share? Huh?"

(I didn't turn around to see if "it" was handed over, or taken)

"Thank you."

Much to Bill's Dismay

William Sonoma makes the most lovely batch of mixing bowls. We received ours as a wedding shower gift, 7 and a half years ago. They have helped in the making of my first "Rodger's Chocolate Cake", many rounds of brownies, banana bread and numerous cheesecake frostings (amongst other things that don't involve sugar).

Today, they were used as hats. Then as drums. Then as hat-drums.

Now, they are in the garbage...in pieces.

Page 341 in the Parent Handbook

Using an air pump as a cell phone and a small dog.

A Very Expensive Gift

Dave and I just returned from 8 amazing days in Maui with our great friends, Bryan and Kari Dady. Blake and Parker spent 9 days with my parents, and my mom only hired a babysitter once so she could drive to a quiet parking lot and eat oreos (and maybe rock herself back and forth?)

Blake was more than okay with us leaving him in the care of Nana and Bopa. In many ways, it is kind of like staying home. My mom doesn't mess around. You talk back, take a toy from your brother or kick the dog, you die. Blake spent the week reassuring Parker that Mommy would eventually come back for him.

Whenever asked where his mommy and daddy were, Blake would reply, "They went to Hawaii to get me a treat. They'll be back."

Wise Guy, or "Wise Guy"...

Yesterday, I was putting shoes on the boys to head out to the grocery store. I had Blake up on my lap, and he had a matchbox car in his hand.

"Mommy, what kind of car is this red one here?"

"Oh, that is a Porshe Cayenne."
(thank you Uncle Devin...because a basic 4 door sedan will never do)

"Mommy, what kind of car do you have?" Blake looks up and asks.

"I have a Acura MDX. Acura is the maker, and MDX is the kind of car."

"Mommy, that is not what kind of car you have. You drive a taxi."

YOU are invited!

Again, nap time does not equal play time. Just get down to business, thank you very much.

After a half an hour of listening to the high pitch sounds of both of my children, Blake was my first victim. I walk into his room and he is busy with "the guys". This would include Hoodwink the monkey, rooster, a block, Whalie the whale, and the almighty pack leader, Bruce.

"Blake, it is not time to play, you need to settle down and go to sleep."

"Mommy, the guys are busy planning a surprise party. I can't take a nap because there is just too much to do." The hands flare out as he goes on, "The cake, the candles, the presents, everyone is invited. Did you know it is MY birthday party they are planning?"

"Blake, wow. That sounds great, but there will be no party unless you take a nap."

Then the removal of the guys from the bed, the retucking of the child, the reclosing of the curtains, blah blah blah. I stand next to the door and tell him that if I have to come back in, the guys are mine.

He then yells as I am closing the door, "JUST DON'T FORGET ABOUT BLOWING UP THE BALLOONS!"

As of three minutes ago, and two size 9 toddler feet kicking the wall, the party has been canceled.

SURPRISE!!!

Oh Good...

On our way to our Preschool Open House today, Blake and I were discussing his new teacher, Teacher Leesa.

Darling, outgoing, fun and has 10 years of three year old experience under her belt. I can assure you it would be her first time for this one...

"Blake, Teacher Leesa is just so much fun, you are going to love school!"

"And she is just so cute too!" Blake says in a giggly voice. "I wonder if she will be wearing a shirt. If not, then she would be naked!!!"

Awesome.

Cedar Cross Methodist Preschool is sure to have a waiting list months long come sign up time next year.

A Fairly Good Idea

"Mommy. What if I stood like this and ate my scone?"

Parker Doesn't Mess Around

Oh no.

And you know what? You don't have to when you think you are this tough.

You can't be serious

The hits just keep rolling over here at Chez Needham.

My kids are so busy. So so so so so so so busy. The endless motion is enough to send me into the corner with a paper bag.

This morning Blake was sitting up at the counter with Parker, eating his breakfast. Of course, with non stop movement. There are points in the day where I am so tired of repeating myself, that the tiniest amount of sarcasm will sneak into my voice. Naturally.

"Blake! I have an idea. How about you sit down in your chair, and eat your breakfast like I have asked you to?"

In the sweetest, most sincere voice, he replies, "Mommy. I have an idea. How about we use our nice words?"

Stop.

Just stop.

Oh Wow.

I am surprised that I don't have a counter mark indented into my waist. I spend so much time in the kitchen, that I think that if I pushed hard enough on the counter itself, it would make my stomach flatter.

Because I live such a life of leisure and have so much free time for myself, I was thrilled to hear what Blake had to say when I came home from the gym this evening.

I literally was gone from 5:01 until 6:09. I walk in the door to all three boys (big and little alike) crowded around a coloring book.

No one looks up.

"Mommy. You forgot to come home and make us dinner." Color color color.

"Don't worry, Daddy went ahead and made it." Color color color.

Sigh....

The good kind of sigh. The kind where you can actually hear yourself sigh.

Right before bed the other night, both boys were quietly engrossed in their own project, in opposite ends of the house. Dave and I were beside ourselves.

For a good four and a half minutes.

Peeky Likes Pizza

So I have been trying to stay home more often. I want my kids to enjoy the toys that they have, rather than the dirty broken pieces that they endlessly adore at the Children's Museum, or craving the snot infested climbing toys at the mall.

This means I have to get a little more creative when it comes to doing fun stuff at home. Hate playdoh, dread finger paint, and we all know, I loathe chalk. And you can only create a traffic jam with 117 matchbox cars so many times, until you wish you were in the middle of one.

So on Sunday, we made family pizza. Nothing gross, just dough, sauce, cheese and olives. I rolled the dough, spread the sauce, Blake sprinkled the cheese and Parker ate the olives.

Sleepy Bunnies

My kids LOVE Annie's Chocolate Bunny crackers. So much, that when you try to replace them with a box of Annie's Graham Crackers, you get a swift reminder that we need to stop by the store. "Remind me Mommy, when we are out and about."

Parker spent the entire car ride home trying to open the package, that he fell asleep from exhaustion.

Let's Just Be Honest

I am not big on surprises, and am usually known to tell it like it is.

So here goes.

There are days (more lately than before...) where I find this parenting thing not so much fun. I actually find it exhausting, frustrating and somewhat annoying.

SURPRISE!!!!!

Please refer to the two included photos as just 2 of the 613 reasons why my children have spent a great deal of time lately in their bedroom, "waiting for Mommy".

If you are looking for a free oversized box of chalk, you can look no further than my garbage can.