The other night while my best friend Dana'e was here, I had to use some "tough love" parenting tactics, all while encouraging Dana'e to never reproduce.

Blake got sent to bed without dinner (because I forgot to feed my kids...literally, no joke) at 7pm. He lied to me about why there was dirt on the pavers from one of my planters and blamed it on "Houkie" (his new name for Parker). Ugh, Blah, Blech, huh. Parenting is exhausting to me, but I continue to hold on to the highlights that help me wake up the next morning.

Example one: Last weekend we went to some friends house for Greek Easter. I thought I was so witty, in bringing my first "Bunt Cake" to the celebration. We were so late getting there, that I promised Blake he could have chocolate milk just to get him into the car. He was instructed that he could have it with dinner, once Mia served everyone.

Once we arrived, Mia set out all of the food and brought out two Horizon Organic Milks, just like our chocolate milks. I pulled Blake aside and told him this:

"Blake, I know that I told you that you could have chocolate milk with dinner, but I need you to know that Mia has made a very special dinner for us, and she was so thoughtful to get you special milk. The one she bought is white milk."

"But Mommy, you told me that I could have chocolate milk with dinner."

"Yes, Blake, I did. For tonight, I need you to be flexible and drink the milk that Mia bought."

"Okay Mommy."

I walked into the kitchen, and Blake walked over to the counter, grabbed the white milk and turned to Mia. "Miss Mia, thank you so much for thinking of me and Parker and getting us this milk. It was really nice of you."

I wanted to burst into tears.

The Meanest of Them All

Last Wednesday, Blake and I went to a play at the local children's theatre. We went with his preschool and saw Hansel and Gretel.

I loathed it.

The screaming and fighting between the two children in the play, was so annoying. The thought of paying money to watch two children pick on each other was more than I could handle. At least I could have yelled back if it was my own kids!!!

After the play, Blake and I decided to get hot chocolate. We were debriefing our "theatrical experience" and I asked him what he thought of all of the fighting between the siblings. He said he didn't think it was very nice. (One point for Mommy)

Then he says, "Mommy. Did the lady who played the mommy in the play, did she also play the witch?"

"Yes Blake, she was the same actress."

"Sometimes the lady who played the mommy got mad when she was the witch."

"Hmm...you are right." I replied.

"Mommy. Sometimes you get mad. Are you a witch?"

A Slap in the Pants

We have decided to take the state up on their offer of "early education" assistance and make great use of our tax dollars. A woman came to our house to interview Parker and me, and of course we were thrilled with the results. Trust me, I am not looking to place my kids in AP classes for them to be handed mounds of "dittos" as an extra challenge. We are just looking into resources that help us as parents make the very best of our kids.

The woman sitting on my couch chatted with me for over an hour, observed Parker, and then asked me what his middle name was.

"Parker Brent." I told her.

As she wrote it down, I turned to see Parker standing next to the coffee table giggling, and spanking his own thigh.

I guess it would not have been that big of a deal, if the woman sitting in my home wasn't from DSHS.

Gross

Blake and Parker (and Mommy too...) have been taking full advantage of the lack of rain, by spending their mornings, afternoons and early evenings playing outside. They are in a constant competition to find bugs, rocks, sticks, and anything else that can be used to throw, poke and harm each other.

Yesterday I hear Blake screaming, "Mergency! Mergency! Mergency! Mooooommmmmmmmy!!!!"

I come racing through the house, through the back door and out to the patio.

Blake is standing with his arm outstretched and finger pointing to his little brother's face.

"Mommy! Parker has a slug on his face!!!"

I stopped, looked closely, and then turned around and went inside to look for a tissue to wipe Parker's nose.

Oh Lulla

If you haven't had the chance to meet a very special member of the Needham family, let me take the time to introduce Lulla.

Lulla is light blue and dark brown, (and not because of the constant abuse she receives). Her measurements are 36 by 26. She has a special tag where you can place one, two year old sized finger for optimal dragging. Lulla came into Parker's life moments after he entered this world. They have been soul mates ever since. Sleep doesn't not happen in our house, or anyone elses, if Lulla is not a part of the process.

Most recently, Lulla's role as "the comforter" has evolved. She now is working in area of torn books and punched thighs.

Last week, Parker was looking through a book on the floor, and turned a page too fast. One of the pages ripped, and he burst into tears. I bent down to talk to him and he bolted out of the room. Moments later he returned with Lulla in tow. Through tears, he roughly rubbed Lulla all over the book. "Oh Lulla, Oh Lulla...book book book."

Two days later, after not finding enough room on the couch to share with his brother and Mommy, Blake hauled off an punched Parker in the leg. He glared at Blake, grabbed Lulla and violently smeared him back and forth on his thigh, all while mumbling, "Lulla. Lulla. Lulla."

Open up the Floodgates

I have always dreamed of being a stay at home mom. From the time I was little, I used to say I wanted to be a "Mommy" and not just a mom. I looked forward to arts and crafts with my kids, making their lunches and reading them books. I longed for the freedom that would come with taking my kids to the park, playing in the sunshine on lazy days and getting together with friends.

I knew that my kids would get sick. That I would wipe their nose and clean up pee off the floor. I knew that once in awhile there would be times where I would be up all hours of the night.

But no one told me about the puke. While my children unfortunately had the "frow ups" for eight straight days this last month, I have caught it in my hands, cleaned it out of a car seat, the molding, and twice out of my bra.

Being a mom is just the best.